May, the blossoming flower of the year, when temperatures rise and spring showers fade away. What a beautiful month it is! It's also the month when my sister and I were born, one year and 51 weeks apart. I am the older sister, though we are often confused for twins or I am perceived as the younger sister. The reason for this is our height difference, small as it is (a mere two inches) and our respective states in life. Today, my beautiful little sister turns 21, as a novice in the religious order of the Dominican Sisters of St. Cecilia. Looking at her, one would think - what happened to me? Still at home, finishing school, still discerning my vocation... and one must realize, that all good things happen in God's time.
May is also a month when we celebrate our mothers, particularly the Blessed Mother Mary who gave her "yes" and brought our Savior into the world in human form. Christ gave us His Mother from the Cross, so now she is the mother of all humankind. Indeed, all the Americas are dedicated to her patronage (though we might want to call it matronage?), the Empress of the Americas, the Queen of Mexico, Our Lady of Cuahtexupe*. Let's pause and think about motherhood. What does it mean to be a mother?
I'm not a mother, so I can only speak from observation and experiencing my own mother's love. Some will say that being a mother is just like being family - it's not blood but love that counts. I still think blood counts for something even if a child is adopted by someone else who takes on the role of mother in raising that child. For that reason we have biological mothers and adoptive mothers. But what makes a woman a mother? Carrying a child in her womb, nurturing that child, giving birth, raising a child, loving a child. And yet a mother is more than all these things. I love this quote from the popular Spanish-language film Marcelino Pan y Vino, "A mother gives, Marcelino. Mothers give life to their children, they give love to their families; they always give." Maybe none of us have a perfect mother, but we each have a mother that we can love, whether in this life or in the next.
Perhaps it's that quality of selfless, continual giving that draws me to the idea of motherhood. Holding a baby in my arms just a few days ago while I was taking care of four little girls, I felt a sense of awe, a glimpse of what mothers must feel. Watching the girls dart about, giggle, laugh, imitate each other, tease me, and come running up for hugs at the end of the day was a beautiful experience. Even when disciplining the girls I felt different, not like an older sister but more like a mother, looking with love on the children she wishes to nudge in the right direction, towards peace and mutual consideration, compassion and forgiveness. I also felt the responsibility to be a good role model for these young children, who naturally observe very closely anything that I do or say. In a way I was grateful for their outspokenness and their curious questions, as they certainly hold me accountable. I thought to myself, this is just the tip of the iceberg, the enormity of what it is to be a mother, day in and day out. I begin to understand more practically what it might feel like to be a mother. Many of my peers are now getting married, are happily celebrating their first pregnancy or the birth of their first child. I watch with joy and wonder as these new lives come into being, marveling at what my friends must be experiencing as new mothers.
Perhaps motherhood is in my future and perhaps not. But I have much to be thankful for today, not the least of which is my lovely mother. She works tirelessly to support our family, rising early to prepare for each day. She keeps each of us in line and makes sure we feel loved even when we feel hurt or sad. It would certainly be a joy to give her the honor one day of becoming a grandmother, as I know she would be a grandmother the kids would love. Mom, I love you!
[*And no, that is not a "typo". I learned, some years ago that the name given by the Virgin to Juan Bernardino (St. Juan Diego's uncle) when she healed him was actually a name in the Nahuatl language, meaning "stone serpent crushed" - meaningfully translated, "One who crushes the head of the stone serpent." Biblically speaking, that means the Virgin Mary is the new Eve (cf. book of Genesis), just as Christ is the new Adam, fulfilling the covenant of old and bringing about a new age of the Kingdom of God. It's actually quite fascinating, if you think about all the signs that were presented in the Marian apparitions at Tepeyac and the environs where St. Juan Diego and his uncle lived. When Juan Bernardino spoke to the Bishop and the Spanish soldiers, they thought he was trying to pronounce Guadalupe, and so the name stuck.]