I used to think that confidence was the most attractive quality about a person. After all, we like being around positive people.
Now I think that humility is the most attractive. Confidence is great, but humility really stands out in a person who is trying to live each day well by putting others first.
That being said, I'm a very proud, lazy and selfish person. I have confidence in my various abilities, one of them being able to write decently enough to let others read what I write. But looking around, I'm definitely not the best out there - not anywhere near the best, either.
I'm ashamed to admit my weaknesses, but not as much as I'm determined to uncover them so that I can replace them with better habits. Accountability and acknowledging my shortcomings will provide additional motivation for me to change, and I could really use an extra dose of humility every day.
In the past few months (again, I apologize for my absence) I have met some amazing, humble people. Next to them, my little insecurities, pretensions and vague statements are glaring. So I sit and soak it in: the beautiful, simple humility of the person in front of me. No self-conscious stream of thought confusing their speech. No boastful arbitrariness taking up precious time. They are present, in a way that I long to be. They are compassionate, in a way that touches the soul. They are hard-working and dedicated. Most importantly, they have their priorities straight, for that is the nature of humility: God comes first and foremost, and if we do His Will then we will also be loving others correctly.
One of my parish priests speaks often of the dimensions of the Cross, both vertical and horizontal, and how they represent our relationship with God and with others, respectively. These dimensions of relating are ideally expressed in the greatest commandment, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and love your neighbor as yourself" (based on Deuteronomy 6:5, see Matthew 22:37). We cannot have one without the other, because everything that is good flows from God, and any good that we do is by His grace, as well.
So today, I'm praying for clarity: to see my faults and weaknesses for what they are, and the courage and trust to surrender them to the Lord and let Him work miracles in me; for the grace to look outside of myself and give thanks for what is good; for the friendly ear and compassionate touch to humbly, simply, be present in another's life.
If today brings another humiliating experience, or nothing goes as planned, so be it. Bring on the humiliation! Life is too short to give up early.