Dear friends and readers, it appears I have taken another hiatus, albeit unplanned. What can I say? I simply did not make the time to record my thoughts and impressions in the past several months to share them with you. For this, I apologize.
Life has changed dramatically for me since I last wrote, and I maintain that it is a good change. I have felt the growing pains of coming of age and recognized the pull of maturity within me. For so long I have been bouncing between a precocious youngster and an inexperienced young adult, and now I begin to feel that adulthood is more my mode of existence. Still, there remains within me a childlike innocence, which I love to draw from when the darkness in the world threatens to confound me.
Working in elder care, I have experienced in a profound way the dignity of elders, the beauty of humanity expressed in their lives, still radiating even in their last age. All people deserve to be cared for with respect, and there is something particularly attractive about the tangibility of this inherent dignity particularly in young children and the elderly.
When I switch jobs to care for four little girls, I feel that tug at my heart, too - these little ones are precious. All life is precious. I have come to delight in the tasks of everyday chores, of washing and cleaning, stacking and organizing, in a way that is even more meaningful than when I did them for myself. Put simply, helping others brings joy to the heart.
Work can affirm dignity, and though some people scoff at a low-paying job, it is the source of someone's pride that they can provide for their family and sustain themselves. I realize that free time is a luxury, and all my little hobbies and projects, even the writing of this blog, are luxuries. They are not necessaries. And yet they also bring joy to my life. If anything, I appreciate them more because of the hard work of other hours, and if I fall asleep from weariness without reading a chapter of my book, I know I have done well.
Friendship, too, continues to be a theme for me, because at its heart is the consideration of the other person. Every strong relationship has at its core a genuine goodwill for the other person. In my narcissistic world, I must constantly remind myself to think of others and focus on their good. This sacrifice uplifts me and places my joy where it ought to be - in serving God throughout my daily life.
The humility I spoke of in my last post has been a saving grace, enabling me to persevere through difficult moments, achieving some of that clarity I so desired and helping me to make some decisions which, up until that point, had been impassable. I feel that God has been with me the whole way, showing me His Love in a grand style and in all the little things which I love so much.
I will leave you with these words from the book of Ecclesiastes which have become emblematic of the past year in a particular way:
"There is an appointed time for everything, and a time for every affair under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace."
[Eccl. 3:1-8]